4 years and 20 years 😱😁

Well that passage above could not be more fitting to how I feel today on my 4 year anniversary of sobriety. This week I have really been correlating 2 thoughts 💭20 years ago I graduated high school with so many thoughts and ambitions of what I thought life would be like. Pretty much that cookie cutter perfect life in like 5 years. Ya know this scenario…. Graduate college. Get married. Have a few kids and of course my dogs. Living in a 3 story house with the white picket fence. Hahaha Now reflecting my life it took 20 years to gain the confidence that I have all that I am suppose to have and couldn’t be more blessed. The passage specifically states to stay sober we tell our story. Our journey is not a cookie cutter life. It’s a journey that some of us take longer to get to but I got there with Faith, believe I want change, AA, love from all of you all, and I wanted the future to be bright. Resistance and fear of being happy was my biggest battle. Especially when it came to my weight loss. I was in denial on how sad I was inside and even afraid of confidence. Today I know I carry the heart of Jesus (love thy neighbor) and the rest falls into place. I’m happy. I still wanna loose like 60 more pounds but discipline is also a part of my lifestyle. I stay sober with discipline of knowing I don’t want to loose what I have. I keep loosing weigh because it does feel good to not carry all the baggage in my body. Not to mention keeping up with a toddler is pretty sweet too. I only want 1 kid today and am at complete peace about it. I love my one story ranch house. My fence could be painted white but that’s another project to get to one day. lol I did graduate college already and stoped having bad dreams that I didn’t really graduate. Yeah I know weird accruing nightmare that I never really shared out loud tell now. I am married and nothing about marriage is easy but I love growing at it. I love how much my husband loves to be near me and Ally all the time. I love how we are learning what our me time looks like. My big thing is Wednesday night is my women AA meeting and important I take it for me. Discipline again tells me I’m Chelsea an alcoholic so I need to go. Do I think I need it today nope but I do so I keep going. The old way of thinking is gone for the most part I can’t do life alone. The gym I make time after work. I know my kid needs a healthy Mom so giving up an hour with her after work for the gym is ok. Well today I see a big difference and can’t wait to see the next 4 and than the next 4 and so fourth 😁😁😁😁

Honest picture from today and I love timehop

What I took with me 20 years later… love these Shiloh Alum ladies ❤️❤️

Playground and 6 month check up 🛝🩺

First off sorry I haven’t written in a while. Raising a very active toddler keeps me busy and exhausted by the time I hit the pillow. I love every minute of it though. Today I had the most wonderful experience with her. Our family went to the park and usually I watch her from the ground but today she was like come on mommy come on mommy so my new self was like you know what why not so I was climbing up and going down the slide with her and yes we went about 10 times than she wanted to walk/run around the pond trail. At this point I had to tag my husband in because I was at the gym for over an hour before this park adventure. Haha 🤣 But the simple story is today I got to be a true kid with my kid. Hahah 😂 Amazing how each day I can do more and more with her. Now I’m just waiting for her to be old enough for Disney world so we can do all the rides together 😁 6 months ago I would have never imagine going down the slide at the park. 6 months ago I felt bad I couldn’t but today I could and we gotta stay positive. 👏👏👏

So I had my 6 month check up. Doctor said I’m doing great overall. I am still struggling with getting 60 G protein in a day. I really feel like lunch and dinner is the same thing since the new norm is smaller portions. I do feel I do well at the liquid part. I drink a ton of water and my 1 cup of coffee a day which he said was totally fine. I do use sugar free creamer but sometimes at lowes I use there sugar because I don’t like there creamer. But again he said I was fine. Than I’m a water holic. lol 😂 One of my co worker and I will drink a mocktail on work retreats so that’s a fun treat to. Honestly though my favorite part of the 6 months was discovering my gym work out are paying off. My arms and legs are doing fantastic and developing great. Fun fact 158 will get me out of obesity so I’m really focus on that number. It’s truly is dedication and one day at a time. Well that’s my update on me. Will try to blog sooner rather later. Thank you a million and one for the love and support 🥰🥰🥰

Birthday 🥳

In my favorite hydro massage 💆‍♀️ chair after a work out. 🏋️‍♀️

So wow I’m another year older but looking and feeling 10 times younger and still going down in age. So this blog is going to be all over the place because there stuff I haven’t been sure how to word but ready to talk about it on here now. So stay with me as I ramble on my journey that’s again over all amazing. Well it all started when I fit into a size 18 and goodbye all you 20 plus sizes. The compliments were rolling in and scarring the crap of me emotionally. This is gonna sound crazy but I fear personal success and not use to being noticed. This is why so many of my diets failed in the pass I got to nervous and anxious of doing well I rewarded myself with food or when I was alcoholic I was like this is another reason to drink. Well when your stomach is changed I had no where to run with food and mess up. Twice I crawled in my bed after work and avoided the gym. I know this sounds so bazar. But thanks to support groups and people who have been through this I learned it was normal to be overwhelmed with success. I think the part for me is I’m only half way to my goal and have lost 100 pounds. Terrified of letting myself down and yes letting you all down that believe so much in me. But I go back to my principal of life FAITH, I can’t do this alone, I ask for support through all of you and my doctors. I’m doing better. And I’m not like mentally sick it’s just a lot to adjust. It still amazes me I can be so hungry and one drum stick and some veggies fill me so fast. Remember I was a food addict. So adjusting to separating food as a solution to everything. My family and friends being so much joy. I’m always working on some crazy project to keep busy. Currently working on my daughter oasis in the backyard. lol 😂 I’m at the gym 5-6 times a week. Working out with different people. Trying to new machines. So please know all these emotions we feel when we embark this surgery is normal. Yes the positive will trump all but it’s ok to be scared. It’s ok to take a moment to soak it in. It’s super powerful lesson. It’s also ok if you have a week where you loose nothing. It’s ALL part of the process. Your journey is your own and fight for what you started. We knew it was a LIFETIME commitment. It’s ok to remind yourself that 1 day at a time. Well that’s all I got. I am good and happy 😃

My joy to the world 🌎 and wouldn’t be a blog with out her face ❤️❤️❤️

Catch air

So today I got to experience another fun event that if I was over 300 pounds I couldn’t of done. I again thought I was happy as a fat girl but the more I get to do that stuff I wasn’t able to I see what I was missing out. Today I was also able to keep up with my 2 year old with no problems. Her and I had a blast together. It was cute when she would tell me to jump or she would jump big and go “I did it…I did it” love her so much and love making these memories together. So much more to do but right now I need to go to bed and back to work tomorrow 😁😁😁😁

Who am I???

Ok this may sound crazy but today I took a Full picture of me and like really saw me. I had to do a cross over pic to when it started and I was like shocked 😮 I mean I knew the pounds were coming off but I’m still in fat girl version. I don’t really know how long you feel that way through this process but today I felt great being a fat girl 😆. So my daughter skip a nap today and d crashed early and you know where I am at on a Saturday night… Yup writing a blog and biking at planet fitness. Ok I need to vent for 2 seconds…why do people go to the 30 min workout circuit and sit on machines. It drives me crazy. There are other areas you can spend 10 min on a machine. This area is a keep it moving. Oh how I hate it. Lol 😂 Ok back to me happy me. Great day. Great life. That’s really all I have to say because I need to move to another cardio machine. I do 30 min weights and then 15 min circuit of different cardio. And of course end in the hydro massage 💆‍♀️

Depression is Gone 🙌

The picture above is from Jan 2020 super sweet what Don said and I love that but as I am reflecting this picture I see something else. 4 years ago I was at my prime alcoholism drinking and in May I would finally quit but my addiction to food would possibly increase. But honestly adulthood and turning 18 food was always a comfort. I knew health was important but I didn’t know what that meant to me because I was always feeling behind in life and always comparing myself. Granted I was doing well especially career wise but more money more responsibility comes with more stress. For so long I copped with self healing by destroying my body. Crazy how it takes a surgery for you to realize it but I’m here. Finally not in denial. Finally just loving life on my terms and not comparing any more. I know last blog I talked about at the gym focusing on me for the full hour and not others. My biggest addiction right now is commitment to myself and to give the best life I can to Ally, my work, socially, and of course marriage. I don’t need to hide any more. It’s a pretty cool concept. Thats all I got. Thank you a million and one for the love and support.

Wait one more story. My Lowe’s people wanted me to match them today and they threw me a size L shirt and it fit over my sweater. I felt amazing 🤩 coming from ya know a 3X.

Confidence

I always thought I was gaining confidence when I got sober but I’m learning I was still not being my fullest. Who ever knew loosing a few pounds and so many people noticing I’d feel better at work and in my day to day. Today the sweetest thing happen at work my Lowe’s associate said there a girl who works here who really wants to meet me to talk about my surgery and weight loss but is so shy. She said she told her I was pretty friendly and open but still shy. But I went up to her today and said hey I’m Chelsea the Valspar rep and would love to sell you paint. 🎨 lol 😆 of course after the ice was broken I went into my story of my weight loss. She said I was the push she needed and last week she went to her first appointment with Dr. Richard’s. I was so excited when I heard she found my doctor so I had even more to share with her. She said she has all the pre work for insurance to do before the surgery date and it would be a few months. I told her it goes faster than you think. I told her I’d love to help support her if she needed anything. I can talk about being a food recovering addict and I shared my social media. Such a cool powerful moment. As she begins it will be so fun to watch her progress. She has 3 kids she needs to do this for and she’s just tired of feeling tired all the time. I told her I related so much but today my knee doesn’t hurt after Lowe’s concrete floors. I also have so much energy to keep up with my 2 year old. She was impressed my kid was that young. I’m like yeah I’m an older parent but she my one and only don’t want any more. I wanna do so much with her and give her the best adventures life has to offer.

So after work went to the gym. My friend Susan hurt her back (pic from another day) and the team like adore me and her. They were like we’re proud you keep coming With or without my side kick. Before weight loss journey when I went to gyms I would get so self conscious about doing machines or talk myself into ending my cardio early. Today it’s that confidence again staying committed and trucking through. Results are truly amazing. Tomorrow morning I can’t wait to weigh in. Well that’s all I got for today. Thank you again for the love and support. I’m an open book good or bad I love who I am. lol 😆 love you all ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Motivating People

So I knew I was on my personal health journey but what I didn’t realize tell tonight I’m like starting a health kick movement in my social life. I meet different friends at the gym and they say “thank you for getting me back here” I have an amazing story to brag about. My friend Susan but likes to go by Bad Grandma is definitely not a young spring chicken and she is there every day with me. She even so popular by the staff she got a shout out from the gym in a post that goes all over the USA, Canada and Puerto Rico. I’m so honored to be the motivating force behind my friends. I have a buddy in Alabama starting to do crunches and lunges every night. It’s just so awesome to see all them feel good. Others who are going to the gym at all different hours. The gym is not a bad place once you get over the fact it’s work. Lol i guess the new me is accepting this to be part of my lifestyle change just like everything else. Another fun story. I went to lunch with a good mentor of mine from work who is retiring Friday and he was blown away with how little I ate vs some meals when I first started working with him. To paint the picture a little more we went to outback. Old me would eat a lot of bread. A meal with loaded mash potatoes and a salad to feel good. Ha Today I had lunch portion chicken with mushrooms and side of steam veggies. Only ate half of that. Yes it’s amazing. But it is really just feeling like the new norm and I’m adjusting better. At first it was a mental depression but I’m in acceptance. Plus seeing the change in my body and mind helps a ton. I’m honestly just taking life one day at a time. If I am motivator for weight loss surgery and exercise then that’s what God wants me to do with my blog and Instagram. Thats all I have for tonight. Thank you again everyone for the prayers, love and support. That’s my motivation the cheerleaders and of course my Ally ❤️

249 and counting down…

As most holidays hit in November most people put on holiday pounds BUT not me this year. Rather dramatic opposite. I lost 65 pounds. I’m over all feeling amazing. Mentally still baffled by the fact that I cannot eat hardly anything at all. Or if I do find a bite I like I get too excited and it probably won’t stay down. Lol Therefore I am learning to train the brain to eat slow and chew more and more. They aren’t lying about that part. Story time… I was laying in bed thinking it would be fun to bring Ally tubbing in NC. I looked at the website and I got to the part with weight limit to carry you and tube up the slop 250 pounds. I wanted to have happy tears for the fact this is something I could actually do today. Amazing feeling 😁 Now I looked at the height requirement for Ally and it said 36 in. I’m not sure if she is that and will have to check. But the most coolest part is I would not have to be in the stands watching Don having all the fun with her. This is only the beginning of all the fun stuff I can do with my family. Snow Tubbing Here a link to the place I was looking at. One last story: So Christmas with the families was special and wonderful. Ally grandparents got her a balance bike. Well 3 years ago mom and dad bought me a new bike but I was too big to ride it. Weight limit was 250. After gifts I was like I’m taking my bike and ridding it. It felt glorious ridding it tell I turned and fell off. Lol 😂 I didn’t get hurt but man ridding a bike again not easy and it’s work. Hahaha but I love it and so excited to have it at my house. Super special. Well that’s all I got for now. Thanks again for the love and support. Means the world 🌎 ❤️

Dumping syndrome

Google defines it as… Dumping syndrome is a condition in which food, especially food high in sugar, moves from your stomach into your small bowel too quickly after you eat. Sometimes called rapid gastric emptying, dumping syndrome most often occurs as a result of surgery on your stomach or esophagus.

I define it as evil. So yesterday I was at one of my store and they were having holiday pot luck and associate asked if I wanted anything I said I can’t really eat anything and she was like we have so much. I said well I can eat soft veggies what option do you have. She said corn and green beans. I said ok a small very small scoop because I can’t eat much either my stomach is just so small now. Both tasted wonderful in the moment and I had about 2-3 bites of each. What I did not account for was seasoning people add in these and the corn was a casserole. I started feeling light headed and then I started throwing up and going number 2. Chills as the night went on. Sat in the shower thinking I have to have exited everything I ate this week by now. Husband was amazing and spent time with our daughter and he even put her to bed. The 2 of them usual bond on Wednesday night because that’s my AA night with women group which I absolutely love and need those ladies. Ally would occasionally walk into my room where I was under my heating blanket and comforter just to check on me. It was sweet. It’s 5 o’clock Don left for CrossFit and I finally feel better. Nothing doctors can do. I think the only cooking I’m trusting is my mine and my mother. I knew I would get sick at some point. And it will probably happen again. Just part of re learning and paying attention to everything I put in my mouth. This surgery is amazing but comes with lots of details. I spoke to other about it and they say after a year you just start to know your new body. I’m only 6 weeks out. I’m still happy I did the surgery. I’m just about 65 downs down. I’d like to hit 250 by Jan 1. Then set up next goals on how to get to 199 mark. Friday hopefully I’ll be cleared to go to the gym now and I can’t start crushing it even more. Well that’s all I got for now. Just wanted to be open about the bad parts too.

My sweet family with Santa. Maybe next year she won’t be scared lol 😆 🎅🎄